Sunday #9: "Shoo!"

June 14th, 2020

This morning I took advantage of the warm weather and went for a bike ride before most of the city was up. I wanted to take on some hills, but before doing that decided to take a look at the street painting on Hollywood Blvd. in front of the Chinese Theater. They had painted "ALL BLACK LIVES MATTER" on the pavement in several different colors and patterns, not dissimilar to the yellow "BLACK LIVES MATTER" in Washington D.C. along 16th St. near the White House.

It was spectacular--a visceral statement that cannot be ignored or easily erased. At this time of the morning there was a small number of people there taking pictures and checking it out--they have that portion of the boulevard blocked off so there was only foot traffic. This is also the site of a large BLM march happening later this morning. I am sure that in just a few hours there will be thousands of people here as opposed to the handful I now share the street with.

I stopped my bike to take a photo of my own, and I was immediately approached by a short white man with long-ish white hair, wearing shorts and sandals like some relic from Laurel Canyon. In Los Angeles, someone like this could in reality be a former hippie, or they could also be the president of a movie studio--one never knows. In this case, I had little time to peruse the possibilities because he walked directly up to me and said:

"Hey, if this were really a human movement, wouldn't it be all lives matter?"

My mind zig-zagged between possible responses, having been interrupted by his question. He didn't seem to be concerned about whether I was actually available for a discussion, despite the fact that I was trying to take a picture and had earbuds on--I suspect that he perceived me to be a brother-in-arms, for god knows what reason. Mind you, I am not above being approached, but social etiquette demands that one at least evaluate if another is "available" to being approached. Those who forego this assessment might be narcissists, mentally ill, or YouTubers, one never knows. So I quickly settled on the only response that makes sense when someone tries to drag me into a conversation I don't want to have. I said:

"Go away!"

Here is the thing about white men like this guy (gay or straight, by the way). They hate being shushed, dismissed, or ignored. Those responses challenge a slippery grasp on an already fragile identity. Sending them away makes them feel weak, emasculated, and powerless (feelings I have combated my entire life), and that is the very reason I choose the response I did. I did not want to engage him, because his very approach indicated that he was not looking for dialogue, merely agreement. I would not be his guy. I would not validate his way of thinking while he was standing on a street that invalidated his way of thinking. I would not prop him up because he is not willing to sift through his discomfort with what surrounds him and look for the lies that have influenced his points-of-view. I would not be his guy. No fucking way.

I put my earbuds back in, but I still heard him cuss me out, which is what happens when bullies start losing power. I quickly realized that he needed a stronger lesson, and I was up to giving it to him, so I turned to him and said, quite calmly, while waving my hand:

"Shoo!"

Here is the thing about shooing someone. It is the ultimate dismissal. It says that you don't even feel they are worth a "Fuck off!" because that takes extra energy to deliver. Nothing pisses off a bully more than letting him know he is not even worth getting upset about.

I need to report what happened next, because this is the kicker. After I shooed him, he turned to me and said, he actually said:

"I am not a slave, you can't tell me what to do!!"

He actually said that. In my entire life, I can't remember hearing a statement that was impossible to respond to, until this one. How does one respond to that? Here is a white guy, on the morning of a BLM march, on a street painted with ALL BLACK LIVES MATTER, telling me that he is not a slave. And he is right. He is not a slave, and never was. No matter how many difficulties he has faced in life, he has never had to face them with less than his full freedom and a complete docket of rights. How do I know this? Because only someone who believes himself to be rightfully privileged would declare that he should never be told what to do.

So I did the only thing I could do, the only thing that could possibly topple him from his shaky but stubborn perch. I repeated, while waving my hand:

"SHOO!!!"

And then I ignored him. That was all it took. He was defeated. I knew this because though he continued to cuss me out, he was walking away--the sign of defeat. He knew better than to continue, I'll give him that. But that's all I'll give him.

I took my picture of the street, then resumed my ride into the hills of Hollywood.

***
Why did I shoo this guy away, and why do I feel the need to tell you about it? Well, for one thing it always feels good to take down a bully, even when they seem to want me on their side. But I also shooed him away because he is a child and I never wanted to raise a kid. It's not my job to educate him. He's clearly old enough to have lived through the 60s and 70s, so I wonder why 40 years later he still thinks that he's a victim of the movements that dominated his young adulthood? I struggle to imagine even one incident in this guy's life where, despite any obstacles faced, his life has not mattered. Sure, I could have taken the high road and engaged with him, asking him to justify his stance, seeking to understand it from a human point of view. But I just don't care. Why is it that the oppressed are expected to take the high road when the oppressors rarely do?

So many straight white men fear what's happening in the world because the changes require that they lose some power. But the only power being taken away from them is the power over others. As they say, this is not about white men losing rights, it is about all men, women, and others having equal rights. It is about the right to be treated as a valued and worthy human being, regardless of anything. Regardless of whether you have a police record. Regardless of whether you are on drugs. Regardless of the color of your skin. Regardless of the gender you identify with or your choice to not identify. Regardless of your sexual orientation. Regardless of how much money you do or don't have. Regardless of how you look. Regardless of your age. Regardless of what language you speak or what country you live in or come from.

Yes, all lives do matter. But the issues at hand are bringing attention to lives that have historically mattered less than white folks'. The man in the street needs to grow the fuck up, for fuckety fuck's sake. He doesn't need a sign in the street! The change being sought is not about taking away the power for him to live freely, it is about taking away his power to keep others from living freely. One person's freedom should never come at the expense of another's. That is not freedom--it's power over. True freedom is power with. True freedom includes responsibility. Today, I gave that man a taste of true freedom. I don't think he liked it. Too bad. These are not your streets anymore dude.